sunday musings

i don't have family here in cebu. the closest relative i have is my first cousin who's a freshman at UP Cebu. not really someone i can relate to, or someone that i can open up to. but through my aunt (his mom), i came to know the Melicors. they are one of the nicest families i know! they opened their home to me, broke bread with me, and accepted me as part of their family. as i'm writing this, i am listening to ruth, their youngest, practice her piano lesson with this grandma piano teacher. david (the middle child) is working on something on his laptop, while tito pat and tita chang are out getting groceries. it doesn't get more "family" than this. one of the things that i am thankful for here in cebu is them. God is blessing me through their kindness.
***
for the past month, whenever i go into a taxi, i notice that the gas indicator is lit. i always get paranoid when i see that, especially late at night when i'm going home. what if we get stranded because the cab had no gas?! what if the dark elements are out to get me? what will become of me!? and then i found out, the reason for this is almost all the cabs have transformed their gas tanks into LPG tanks. now i don't have to worry about the gas tank being on empty, i just have to worry about the LPG tank in the trunk blowing up.
***
i attended a diversity seminar at the mactan shangri-la last week. i met one of our CVG colleagues from australia, igal. he's an israelie who's now living in australia with his wife and 7 month old son. on his last night in cebu, after a good dinner at cafe adriatico, we got to talking about God. he was able to make me realize a lot of things, recall what it was to be a christian, and remember what is important in life. to igal, my friend from across the seas, thank you for the wise words. hope to see you soon.

email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com

ficklet #4

*click* the shutter went off.

change settings. shutter speed 1/125. lens aperture f/8.

"i've always loved photography. it lets you look at things in a different way. let's you make people see things through your eyes"

*click*

"yeah, i see that in you. i've always loved your photos. it makes me wonder how i didn't see it in that light, or in that way before"

*click*

"it's like when i'm behind my camera, i can be in control of things. i can control the light, the depth of field, and everything else to make things just the way i want it"

*click*

"control. interesting"

change settings. shutter speed 1/15. lens aperture f/4.5.

*click*

"i'm trying to blur this next image. sometimes you see the beauty in something when it's not all there, when it's not that clear, you know? the effect will be great!"

"blurring, huh? it seems that you're really good at that."

*click*


email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com

all the things that i have not said

you still get to me. no matter where i am, what i'm doing, you have a way of creeping into my thoughts at the most unexpected times. i said to myself that it's all good, nothing's wrong. we're still friends, it was nothing. but i've been fooling myself.

of course it was something. you made me feel that it was something. it could have been. it may have been. it wasn't meant to be. and that hurts.

i need some time to get used to the idea that we're back to what we used to be. not that that's a bad thing, it's actually when i think about it, better.

i try not to think about you. i concentrate on work. go out with friends. go on trips. but somehow, you find a way back to my stream of consciousness. and then i miss you.

i miss you a lot.

i miss you to the point that i cry at the thought of you.

but you don't see that. i'm the strong one. i'm the one who can handle it. i'm the one that will get past this whole thing. and maybe you're right. i know you're right. but at this point in time, i'm the one who's crumbling. i'm the who's not handling it. i'm the one wallowing in the feelings. but you don't see that. you can't see that.

you said you need time. i need time.

time to get over you.


email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com

rain and wifi

i never really realized how absolutly dreary rain can be until my weekend stay in manila. i mean, this is the most rain i've seen this season. people won't believe me when i say that in cebu, THERE IS NO RAIN!! it's blue skies and whispy clouds all the way. i've got to love my island...
i was telling nil yesterday that if i was here, and added to the rain was the pressure of work, i've be totally depressed right now. it's something about the sun and the smell of the sea that lifts my spirits.

i'm writing this while eating a peacanbon, a steaming cup of coffee waiting, and my friend, badminton boy, letting me use his laptop connected to the wifi of this particular shell station. hay...the wonders of technology.

speaking of technology, i'll be getting me a laptop in q4. and it is a MUST that i get a purple krumper carry bag! teddy and i will get our computers at the same time. he already got his krumper for his digital SLR, and i was telling him to get his laptop so that he'll have a studio on the go.

reported to our makati office yesterday, i miss the people!! i saw joel, mike, portia, chin, ron, red and the rest of the TDMs. hay...i miss working in the manila setting, where everything is so fast paced and you really have to work your ass off!! not that i'm saying that in cebu i don't do that, but it's just contagious the way things move here. i hope i can bring that to the island.

710pm flight out of the city and straight to work. i bet on the ride home, i'll be on a concall already. dang! i hope stephen doesn't kill me for being late for the site leaders meeting later. oh well...

my beloved beeg is coming over next week!! HECK YEAH!!!! we're going to hit the beaches and drink like a fish!! miss him dearly...

email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com