closing shop

this blog of mine has been in existence for almost 5 years. it's time to move on...

to those who read this, thank you for your comments and for taking time out in your day to read what i have to say.

merci beaucoup. gracias. ringraziarla. thank you. daghang salamat.

this has been missymisbehavin, signing off.

email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com

running away and running back

so here's the deal.

i fly back to my island to get away from you. i try my hardest not to think about you, or look at things that remind me of you. i tell myself that things are better the way they are. i read and re-read the letter i sent. i convince myself that i you and i don't make sense together.

but then when things are botched up at work, when i just want to sit on the floor and throw a tantrum, when sadness fills me, i think about when i last felt happy, safe and secure. your face is the first thing that comes to mind. feeling your hands clasping mine, your arms around me, your gentle but protective hugs.

i still want to be your assistant, groupie, confidant, advisor, career counselor, isaw buddy, masseuse, friend, lover.

though i fly away, i will always come back to you...c

email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com

the man in my life

he was the bunso. he was a heart throb. he was soft spoken. he loved music. he was vain. he never spanked me. i was his favorite. i'm his princess.

it's been a little more than 3 months since my dad passed on. when he died, it didn't really affect me, not as much as i expected. it was going to happen sometime so in a way we were ready. even when he was at the ICU and i saw him, i told my mom that we should turn off the respirator and let nature take it's course. my mom was the one who wasn't ready to let go.

as days pass, the hurt subsides. but there are days that i just stop what i'm doing and i look at our picture. mom, me and dad. it was taken november of 2005. i came home for a weeks vacation before going back to cebu to run a class. i remember that morning. it was raining. i went down for breakfast. my mom just came from the market and my dad was eating his breakfast. when he saw me, he asked immediately for a hug and my mom came over to join us for breakfast. that's when the picture was taken. we were all happy. another picture that's posted on my wall is of dad being goofy. it was the morning of my birthday. we were having breakfast on the patio and i took out my camera phone. i told him to give me a funny face and he puffed his eyes and smiled a weird smile. with his big ears, his expression, and that aura of playfulness, i can't help but laugh when i see it.

i miss him. especially when i remember the fact that when i go home to los banos, he won't be there to hug me. to give me kisses. to hold my hand. to say "hadodong" (my dad never regained his speech).

i miss the man that gave me life. i miss the man that would pick me up from swim practice. i miss the man that would take me to manila with him even if i had class and he'd ask me to make excuse letters. i miss the guitar man who influenced me to listen to simon and garfunkle, don mclean, james taylor, kenny rogers, paul simon, cat stevens.

i miss my dad so much. so much that it hurts. that it makes me wish that i didn't spend so much time away from him.

i love you dad. i wish you're still here with us...

email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com

a stroll down memory lane

song: ngayon o bukas man - kartoon chemistry

today, i was hit with a wave of nostalgia. i came across our old college station website. chance, glitch, alex, sandman, valerie, dr.hook, wurm, hershey...cramming into one small booth, stacks of CDs, top of the hour, music clock. campus talk, phone jam, lovelines, red alert, alterego, tinig campus. hosting gigs, parties, org events, remote broadcasts. 2005 org of the year.

my years with lbfm 97.4 were the happiest of my life. i looked forward to my shifts. my programs were not something that i felt obligated to prepare for or do, i WANTED to do them. met a lot of people through the station and i would like to think, we touched lives and inspired others to follow our footsteps.

to the new generation of jocks, relish the years that you're with the station. you will learn valuable lessons and you'll form lifelong friendships with the rest of the jocks.

if only i had a time machine that can transport me back to those days.

email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com

count your blessings

these days, i've had a lot of things on my mind. with work alone, both left and right side of my brain is on overdrive, add to that my personal life. it's a miracle i haven't short circuited!! but there are a lot of people and things that i'm thankful for...

hazel, my co-manager, guinabot sessionista, coach, friend and confidant. she makes life at the office a little lighter; the PST team, what else can i ask for in a team? they continuously surprise me and inspire me to do my best as their manager; the CCT and CommCoach team, they make my days colorful. on the most stressful days, i can count on them to give me a good laugh; kay, my eating buddy, shopping and cebu adventures, life coach; my family, coz i know whatever i do, they're there to watch my back; bestest iza, best lea and besh allan, despite the fact that we see each other seldomly, i can rely on them to be there no matter what; nielsen, for knowing when exactly i need some cheering up; verns, for the virtual hugs and hand holds; shiva, the girl who, if i would get into a fist fight would jump right in and fight along with me; suyen and lynette, prayer partners; roy, a true friend. we will transcend time and distance; samad and kendall, my partners at work, and even though they're thousands of miles away, i feel like they're right beside me, cheering me on; music, in it i can release my tension; keebler soft batch chocolate chip cookies, whoever is the inventor of this is GOD SEND!!; bed head by tigi, for making me feel like a million bucks most days; victoria's secret angels heavenly, reminds me of july 2002 weddings and rainy days; cebu pacific, thank God for 99peso fares; starbucks coffee banawa branch, our friendly neighborhood coffee shop; lettuce, carrots and caesar dressing, my diet food. the feeling of being full but less calories...

i have so many things that i've been blessed with and relationships that i've had the priviledge of having. the list could go on and on but it's time to get back to mind crunching...hehehe but to close, i remember a line that heard from our pastor. he said: "if you can count more than 10 things that you're thankful for, consider yourself blessed".

and indeed, i am.


email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com