i heart ?

sometimes you really crave and search for intimacy...

no matter how well you mask it, deny the feeling, it will always sneak up on you at the moment you least expect it, just at that exact moment you thought you were over it.

i had told myself that everything happens for a reason, that what you go through is just a thread that puts together the grand design which is life. but when that single thread unravels, everything falls apart.

i look around and i can't escape thoughts about him. simple things bring back happy memories that do not bring smiles, but a longing for those moments to be mine once again.

i once read that you should never say goodbye if you're not ready to let go. how long must i hang on? must i continue to have these delusions of grandeur? make myself believe that he'll come back to me? how much should i believe his promises that he'll still hold true to them, give me the forever he once said we'd have?

i walked into my empty apartment and i couldn't deny the feeling that somehow, i felt empty too. it dawned on me that that's whats been brewing inside me, that feeling of emptiness, as if a piece of me is missing. a few months ago, i felt i was whole, someone made me whole. but now, i'm like a puzzle with that one key piece lost .

i am a walking contradiction...