love actually

i've been looking at nic's blog ever so often and the prenup pictures have been posted. nic and anna look so happy together, like they're really set on spending the rest of their lives together, which got me really depressed. well actually, i've been feeling rather blue the past few days. i think i know the reason...it's the absence of love.

i'm pretty convinced that i have it all. i have a steady job that pays relatively well, great friends, loving family, food to eat, clothes on my back and such. but the thing that i really want, i still can't seem to have.

i've been having dreams of a college boyfriend these past few days and it's left me wondering what my subconscious is trying to tell me. we made a 6year deal, and the deadline is nearing. i'm sure though that he's forgotten all about it so i'm not counting on him getting in contact with me. still, i can't help but wonder...could this be the reason for all the dreams?

but on news closer to home, i've been wanting to go out with this guy for the longest time. we talk occationally, text here and there, but we haven't gone out. i think he has a clue that i like him, which is not that surprising. i wonder how he'll react if I ask him out (i can't do it!!!) i'm still idealistic when it comes to those things. i still want to believe that it's the guy that does the asking, and girl does the obliging.

hay...i have these intense feelings for him, only to be doused everytime i see him. coz when i see his eyes, there's nothing there to make me think that he'll ever reciprocate the feelings.

why does love have to be so complicated?


email me! missymisbehavin08@yahoo.com